Growing up

     My little people are growing.  I don't shop in the baby section for anything anymore. My youngest is in toddler sizes, and apparently this guy in now in the "big boys" section. This was a recent realization as I shopped for all the birthdays that take place over this past month.  There is one final one for our family this Friday and it is for this guy.

This guy. My oldest son Levi and the kid that goes before all his siblings to test the water of the Michael and Bethany Bracht family.  He is turning 8. Its significant for him, but its significant for me too. The amount of reflection, and the details of memories I have from so much joy, and heartache and personal growth and transitions, so many years apparently have accumulated since i became a mother.  Today I look across the room at this guy as he's getting a haircut. He is handsome, and confident, joyful,fun. He is sure of what he wants and looks at him self proudly as he now has the "cool guy haircut" he desired.

My heart has been a little anxious these days over change and choices. We have gladly decided to home school our kids and have done so since Levi was in kindergarten. It has been awesome to have this time. 

There were many personal and spiritual reasons we decided to do this for our family and have always decided to re-evaluate  what we are doing based on our family needs. We have been thankful to take extra time to teach Levi self care and work on his strength, work on discovering who he is and coach him on life situations. He has also has a full calendar of medical appointments he maintains weekly.  😂He has kept a busy schedule lol. It's been hard to balance that part. 

Lately we have been seeing some great independence from Levi. He has the desire to grow in relationships with others and just an incredible desire to learn. We feel like its so important at this age for him to have confidence in who he is in the world.   Since Levi was young, we have maintained a relationship with our school district and they have always been very helpful to our family. 

Recently we were able to come up with a plan that would allow Levi to be in a regular classroom setting with a modified schedule. This would allow him to attend school regularly, and also accommodate his medical needs. We don't know if this is just a season for him or long term, we will just have to see.
My heart is still with teaching my kids, and with this allowance for him he will get to do some classes at home.

 We have slowly been working towards this, and praying about the right timing for him and our family. The decision seemed much harder until recently,when I have met some of the kindest staff at his new school who are WILLING to walk with him and help him with what he needs in entirety. I have had several meetings that have given me confidence that this will be a safe place for him. A surprise I didn't know I would find.

Today we had the blessing of meeting his class for the first time. It was a beautiful thing to observe as a momma. I think i was more nervous than he was. Why do *I* have butterflies?! As I prepared him to go today he's like "mom, i'm not scared it's going to be great" lol... Instead he was so calm and confident, and the kids were so kind and thoughtful and excited to meet the new student. What a blessing.

There is much to write about this, but as far as I an adventure in saying YES. Its a big one for me. I know most everything about this little guy..my heart is wrapped in emotion over him and all the details in his life. My mind is always thinking through the strategies of care and I have not shared that responsibility with many at this point.

Something else going on that is separate from school is we also have had the blessing of receiving a waiver that can give him various forms of care, with a potential of an extra hand in our home. Care that I have never shared or have wanted to,and now that it's available I don't know what to do with it. But I am praying about these things, and what things are good for him and his growth and independence,what is the appropriate amount of things we should just work through as a family.  I am asking the Lord so much about what is the balance in all of this. I am so thankful there are options, and yet my heart grieves with giving up any part of it. I love my kids so much.

Next Wednesday Levi will have a surgery on his spine. I think this is maybe around surgery 15 for him? When I ask him how he feels about it, he say is feeling confident and thankful that it will help with his back pain (Lord willing). Its strange to see such maturity from an 8 year old, but one thing I have learned is that God is with him just as he is with me. Levi has seen that in his own life and it is beautiful to witness. It is such a comfort to know that as he is going through change and It teaches me so much. Many times it is him saying "mom, why are we still talking about this? I am not afraid!" , but the truth is that I am.

Please pray for all these things ahead for our family. These are all good things but will bring adjustment just the same. We need continued wisdom as we have at times many options available but weighing out how it benefits him and our family.

Levi will begin in a new school in January after he is recovered from this surgery.
We are excited for all the new opportunities ahead for him.