I need my paci!

     I am giggling today at the thought of my 2 year old daughter who has a deep love for her paci. 

As the 3rd child, she has the special privilege of mom and dad not doing everything by the book, and so she has been allowed to relish a little longer with that little cork than those that have gone before her.

 I do admit..there are some times I am really glad for the personal assistant that that little soother has become to her at times, especially when I have been a little worn out by all the crying.

I am noticing a little dependency that has formed with the paci though, and it's humorous to watch. You see, whenever Mom and Dad tell her "no" the first thing that she says is "I need my paci!!!" and is desperate for the comfort to her hurt feelings. 

We have been working lately to put it in her drawer and keep it for bedtime, and we'll get there again soon, but it's horrifying to live life without it for her right now.

   

  I found myself relating to her a little bit today as I poured my coffee...I have this deep love for my coffee and I run to my coffee pot and allow myself a little comfort moment as I hold my warm mug. Harmless... But then I was thinking about other escaping I have done when I don't want to handle the hard in front of me. When I have said to my husband "I've gotta get out of here today, I can't do this anymore today" 

How about more simple...being on my phone?or this is a weird one..nursing my baby? How about letting the kids play all day while dive into a project. These are places that I have found I escape my reality.  Another term often used is "not being present"..but I've been thinking about it more as an escape, and I have had much conviction on the frequency of my little moments and why I need them so much? 

I was thinking about how my daughter can't handle her life without that little pink pacifier in her mouth. Can I handle life without all my escapes?  What if God wants to teach me about obedience through working through the hard things in life?

Of course, we need rest.. sometimes it's healthy to go away for the night and come back to have a fresh start. But my attitude on my little escapes were lacking the idea that I should come back refreshed.. instead I desired more and more escape. I want more time with girlfriends,I want to go to the gym...all good things!

I realized today that as my boys were playing and the girls were napping I had let hours go by not connecting with them as I listened to a podcast and sipped my coffee and did laundry and then I looked at the time and thought.."oh! I barely spoke to them"...( I know I know..it was a little amazing) but then I thought, oh man look at all I could have done with them and taught them and engaged with them that I often trade for my break in the day.

Don't get me wrong I totally think moms need rest time *every*day. I just have been thinking so much about if it's for rest ( to be refreshed) so we can effectively do what's in front of us? Or is it to escape leaving us drained and unfulfilled.

What are ways you have been escaping your actual life that God has blessed you with? For me it's part of my journey of saying yes,and not looking for my pacifier.

Psalm 23:2-3
He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name's sake.
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Psalm 62:1-2My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
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Roman's 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.
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Isaiah 40:29-31
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
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Matthew 11:28-30
The Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will give rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.